Friday, May 8, 2009

Ladies (and lads) who lunch.

Thursday morning is when Gran come to play with James, and my elder daughter and grandson come for lunch. It is a hectic day, but very pleasant, and we look forward to it. Gran has Alzheimer's disease - a living death by degrees. It is advancing slowly but surely and every now and then we notice with a jolt that another piece of her has gone missing. Today as we enjoyed a leek and potato tortilla, green salad with a honey dressing, she said "That was lovely - I really must start learning how to cook." This woman has inspired me to do many things in life, but one of the most important things I learned from her was how to cook. From baking jam tarts to helping with her "Greek nights" she allowed me into her kitchen and pretty much gave me free reign from an early age. When I was 14, she bought me the Reader's Digest Cookery Year, which is in constant use to this day. Her meals were delicious and quite imaginative for central Scotland in the 60s and 70s. "Oh Mum - you are the best cook!"
We still have her, though, and for that we are thankful. James has only ever known his Gran with AD - not the strong, creative, organised and capable woman my older children, niece and nephews knew. But somehow, from a tiny tot, he has had a special bond with her, and they play, draw and read books for long spells of time. My Dad remarked the other day how gentle and patient James was with her. I read on Sunnydaytodaymama's blog the other day, the famous passage from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran - Your children are not your children:

You may strive to be like them, bur seek not to make them like you
For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

I will strive...


Wyld Jane.. said...

what a lovely post, AD is such a terrible condition my thoughts are with you , its so good that you have those special memories to tell your children about how gran really was xxx

Unknown said...

Sending hugs to you - dementia is a terrible thing to see and be a part of.

sunnymama said...

It sounds like your son and his gran do have a very lovely bond and that must be so nice for both of them :) Thanks for linking to my post. The Kahlil Gibran quote is perfect to accompany this post. I think I shall write out the quote and stick it up in our house as it's a quote to be reminded of often!

Becks said...

Lovely post.
I work with AD "sufferers" and it is so difficult to watch the disease take over. Thank you for reminding me again of the truth behind those I care for.
And how lucky for Gran and Grandson to still share a special bond.